I Hate Lee Evans
As I sit here, my sister and one of her infinitely stupid friends (and I mean it to the fullest degree, as in, just now used the phrase “it’s funny ’cause it’s true!” in earnest) have stopped watching a Lee Evans stand-up routine on TV, only to swap it for a Lee Evans stand-up routine on DVD.
But I guess making a whole post about how I find Lee Evans annoying isn’t going to appeal to those of you who disagree, so I’ll move on to the actual point of the post, which hopefully you can agree would be a fun idea in theory, even if you don’t like who I’m going to do it to.
One day, when I have a stupid amount of money to burn, I will find a performer who I dislike. There will undoubtedly be some gatherings, if the performer is sufficiently well-known, of people who also dislike him. An “I bet I can find a million people who hate Lee Evans” Facebook group (with only three hundred members) or similar. Then I will buy a bucketload of tickets to his performance; not enough to sell out, but enough to make up a significant proportion of the audience. Then I will make people who hate him come. When only a third of the audience laughs at the first few cracks, they’ll feel embarassed that they’re in the minority, and laughs will die down to nothing (manipulating crowd mentality, which is a big flaw in human behaviour). Then my two-thirds will boo on command, and we’ll shame the performer from the stage. Good work.
In an ideal situation, we’d do it on consecutive days of a tour. Just to remind irritating pricks like Lee Evans that not everybody thinks that dicking about on stage like a seven-year-old is good entertainment.
on August 12th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
Why would you do that?
Comedians bring joy and laughter to plenty of people who would much rather have those tickets than you and make good use of them. Why be a prick and destroy that by abusing money that you may or may not make?
It’s not like Lee Evans is arrogant about his talent and expects it to entertain /everyone/ but by the amount of laughter and praise he receives from thousands seems prove that people /do/ enjoy his preformances. I personally love his energy on stage and think that seeing as he puts time and effort into his preformances, you shouldn’t waste that! It’s rather selfish. Imagine if you spent weeks on preparing an article for a newspaper or preparing a lecture when peope just stared you down and completely blanked your ideas? If they thought you were ‘an irritating prick’?
It’s just pretty pathetic to be honest and also, I must say I love Lee Evans and I sincerely hope it is only in your dreams that you manage to earn such a sum of money.
on August 12th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Oh, and the group you’re talking about on Facebook?
The only one I found had SIXTY-FOUR members.
on August 14th, 2008 at 10:32 am
Dude i heartily agree, Lee evans is a MASSIVE w*nker!!!
on November 21st, 2008 at 4:51 pm
i agree wholeheartedly with the sentiments of others, Lee Evans is a complete cunt.
Looking like a hairless white monkey and pulling stupid faces just isnt comedy…simply put he is an ugly english jim carrey minus the talent.
The sooner this retarded spectacle dissappears the fucking better, im suprised his family arent embarassed to have such a massive wanker amongst their ranks.
I pity his children that may inherit his looks and utter stupidity and also the impressionable minds that have been tainted by his insidious brand of nonsense.
Die Lee Evans Die.
Im not sure there is enough kb of web space on this server for me to articulate how i feel about this daft prick, but i think you get the gist. Just seeing the fuckers face makes me screw. What a complete fucking arse.
PS went to see the mighty boosh on tour last night, wow real fucking comedy ! some of the best of british.
Anyway good karma and harry krishna !
on November 22nd, 2008 at 9:29 pm
I’d find i very hard to find two thirds of an audience who will want to attend a show that they don’t want to see. It’s a bit pointless. Plus, if you’re planning to go just to embarass the performer, bare in mind that the performer has had embarassment on-stage many times before. Sophie has got a good point: “Comedians bring joy and laughter to plenty of people”. The Anti-Lee Evans people are a minority. The worst thing about some people who hate Lee Evans is the apparent fact that they’re so obsessed with hating him that they say wish he was dead. I don’t like Bernard Manning or Roy Chubby Brown’s material but I don’t do Nazi impressions towards them. I show respect, even when I dislike their humour.
And as for the Mighty Boosh, I like them but I don’t get it. Apart from the surrealism there’s no jokes whatsoever! And no, look at the oldies first before you say best of British. The Pythons, Norman Wisdom, Tommy Cooper…
If you would like to debate about this, come to one of my open mic performances next year and heckle me.
on November 24th, 2008 at 2:32 am
NO WILL YOU COULD GIVE THAT MONEY TO CHARITY!!
But definitely, fuck Lee Evans, the gurning bellend.
on December 6th, 2008 at 1:14 am
Lee Evans sucks - in my opinion. I can’t understand why anyone could find someone who acts like every class clown and influences a lot of class-clowns-to-be. He’s simply an irritating monkey who is a bad influence on kids.
on December 23rd, 2008 at 12:50 pm
You know wha I find ironic, all you geeks that claim to hate lee evans are using his own material to abuse him. I.e calling him a monkey when he constantly refers himself to be one. Obv you watch his performances and considering you claim to hate him I find that very stupid.
I think his a great entertainer and I think your sad to think up a plan lyk that you obssessive gay
on December 24th, 2008 at 12:13 am
Obsessive gay?
Spoilers: “fan” is Lee Evans, butthurt over being called out on his crapulousity.
on December 26th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Ha you gay I’m a mother and a wife and defo do not resemble lee evans. http://Www.myspace.com/xxforgotten_generationxx
Check it if you don’t believe me gay boy
on December 26th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
From that MySpace page you so shamelessly linked:
Well, bitch, hating Lee Evans is who I am, and I’m confident enough to say that he’s not funny. So quit trying to shout down my opinion, since you clearly advocate the right to express it.
Or does that only apply when people agree with what you think?
Oh, and being a mother at 18? God called, he wanted to let you know that you’ve ruined your life.
on December 26th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
fan, if your daughter grows up to be gay, will you still love her? Or will you just say “ha you gay” and continue to argue over nothing on the internet?
Don’t actually bother answering that by the way, your life and opinions mean nothing to me; aside from illiciting a vague hope that a lot of horrible and negative things will happen to you throughout your pointless, vacuous life.
I hope that my opinions are challenging enough for you, and that you love me! (cf. your pathetically clichéd myspace bio)
on December 26th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Okay for starters having my daughter has not ruined my life its actually made my life and iv never been happier. I absolutly love that because your idea of having a child in your life may suck which is fair play as you clearly don’t want a child as of yet does not mean that the rest of the world doesn’t. Do not use my having a daughter against me in a stupid debate.
Secondly yes you are alowed an opinion as am I and I will express it, try to react a lil better in the future to somebody else disagreeing.
I think lee evans is great and I was simply saying that for somebody who hates him so much youv taken the time and effort out on trying to destroy all his effort which to me seems ridiculous simple as.
Take my opinion like an adult and don’t use my daughter against me again she’s an 10 week old child who can’t defend herself and I think your vile to even think of her as a weapon.
Don’t reply you really don’t interest me anymore.
on December 26th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Oh and as for wishing poison on my life id just like to let you know my life is very much amazing I have a loving partner and daughter a home and even a cat so I’m very much happy and nothing will destroy that so spread your ‘joy’ to somebody else.
on December 27th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
There are no two ways about it. You’re neither old nor mature enough to capably deal with the emotional demands of having to look after a child, or to raise the child with a high quality moral base and useful, helpful life lessons because you simply haven’t been alive long enough to have accrued sufficient life experience. By having this child, you’ve prevented yourself from being free to get that life experience because you’ve tied yourself to looking after the child full-time.
You and your “partner” (you should have married, by the way - that makes your precious little girl a bastard) will undoubtedly run into relationship trouble, and I would be safe to predict that you won’t always be together. The child’s volatile family will mean there is not a secure emotional foundation for her to learn from. I recommend putting her up for adoption. You are clearly incapable of relatively intellectually undemanding activities, such as reading and comprehending replies to your inanities and expressing your understanding to the rest of us, so I shudder to think about the damage you’ll do to that little girl when trying to take on the challenge of bringing her up.
You think you’re the whole world because you managed to give birth to a child. Well, news for you: you’re nothing special. Your child doesn’t make your life any better or more significant. All you’ve done is brought a human being into this world and denied it several advantages (like a stable family, a well-funded household etc.) that you could have built up by delaying your clearly uncontrollable desire to get knocked up.
Somewhere in your incomprehensible babble, you mention that you’d like to see me react a little better to opinions in the future? I guess you’re exempt from your own advice there, because if you knew how to react to my opinion, you’d have kept your mouth shut and not tried to refute it or argue. But since you’re here, on my site, I guess your natural inclination to stick your nose into other people’s business is just as irresistible as your desire to get fucked.
Take my opinion like an adult and stop trying to defend your obviously senseless life choices.
on December 28th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
LOL at mental image of using a 10-week old baby as a weapon
on January 22nd, 2009 at 7:14 pm
shupp fooollss
lee evans is gooddd
on February 4th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
i agree with shannon tbh.
no bias here. i don’t know her
LEE EVANS IS AMAZING.
so you can all sod off if you don’t like him.
and tbh, whoever started this website, has nothing better to do. sad old wotsit.
(N)
on February 8th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
you are a boring, weird and sad person get a sense of humour you cunt. lee evans ROCKS!!!!!!!!
on May 6th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
how dare you all lee evans has brang laughter 2 all our homes
and be4 you could even get the tickets for his shows 4 people who hate him,
because people who love him will buy his tickets and yet again it will be sold out
lee evans is the best comedain in the world
wake up and relise it
and grow up 4 god sake
your all pathetic
lee evans will always be a kind sweet man then all of the rest of you dickheads out there
shut up and grow up
on May 7th, 2009 at 9:53 am
[...] Comments Comment on I Hate Lee Evans by LEE EVANS ROCKSComment on UnWanted by JohnComment on Pokémon Day by PyrhusComment on Desensitisation by CaiComment [...]
on May 21st, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Anyone who would go to so much trouble to hurt someone in such a cruel way, is not only immature to the highest degree, but is missing something that cannot be learnt!
You don’t have to like Lee Evans’ comedy - many don’t. That’s u to personal taste! But the man himself is beyond anything you will reach if your attitude continues.
Lee is one of the most genuinely beautiful people I have had the pleasure of chatting to - and he doesn’t deserve to be slammed in such a judgemental and narrow way as this.
You only need to watch the guy on the piano to see just how interesting he really is. Otherwise, remain ignorant!
on June 20th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Lee Evans is the best comedian around at the minute
In all honesty I dont think he would care if you say he is shit because every tour he does gets sold out.
So all you twats bad mouthing him should go fuck yourselves.
Just because he is better at anything than you people.
on June 21st, 2009 at 5:04 pm
This was hilarious (particularly the reply to the cretinous teenage mother - golden).
Lee Evans happens to fill me with the kind of all-consuming irritation that borders on rage, and I am rendered unable to articulate just what or why I feel the way I do about him.
I can’t help it - I just think that people who do find him funny are idiots. His jokes cater to idiots, and yes, that does mean that the reason his tours are sold out is because there just is such a sheer volume of idiots paying to watch him.
There are so many more comedians out there who are much, much funnier than this “gurning bellend”, to coin a phrase.
Would love to hear your opinion on Alan Carr sometime (unless you like him, in which case I’m just vaguely disappointed).
on July 13th, 2009 at 6:32 am
I hate Lee Evans. He is simply not funny. I tried so hard to like him, my mate is a huge fan and made me watch the dvd.
However I just can’t laugh. I was waiting for this hilarious act I had heard so much about, instead there was this little sweaty guy making weird faces and dumb jokes.
I don’t find him funny.
on July 13th, 2009 at 6:35 am
I also love the fact the positive Lee Evans comments are written so badly, like ‘I fuckin luvz Lee Evans’. I’m not trying to say what I do think of people who like him buuuut…..
on July 14th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Haha what an excellent plan, please do it to Lee Evans I hate the prick
on July 18th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
ey fuck off!
you think your all pompus with your language but that doesny change the fact that you probably hav sad lifes, liv with your mum, so fuk off.
Stop usin my daughter as a weapon like I said. You prick.
on July 22nd, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Yeah Lee Evans sucks - his observations are weak and idiots just laugh because of the irritating way he moves around
on July 23rd, 2009 at 11:15 am
I am absolutely loving how much you’ve annoyed people with this post =D
on July 24th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
A very well formulated plan. You sound like a man of intelligence, who shares a mutual hate of Lee Evans.
I would be more than willing to attend such and event and show my support.
on July 26th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
I find it hilarious that the Lee Evans fans always resort to low-brow name calling whenever somebody insults the man and his work.
on November 26th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
ok, i love lee evans but i dont care if anyone doesnt it doesnt make any sort of difference in my life but the two arguing, the one with the child and the one that hates lee evans, really a bit too far as u are arguing over a COMEDIAN how can people get so angry over a comedian to the point were they are wishing death :s catch a fuckin grip man