If I could drive, then I could bitch about driving!

As a foot-bound pedestrian, I feel like I am missing out on a huge and common source of rage that everyone else is getting to dip their fingers into. While there are times when I am in a car and feel the frustration of the driver, I can’t really lay claim to any of that fury, even though I’ll be on the same journey, because I’m not in control of the car. I can’t really justfy rolling down the window and yelling profanities at drivers.

It’s not just driving that I’d feel cheeky complaining about. I talked a few years ago about those crappy little signs that you get in the back windows of cars — “baby on board” and such, all their variations (“mother-to-be on board,” “young person on board,” “daddy’s little princess on board,” etc.) too, were all unnecessary and useless and just annoying. Do drivers think they are somehow less likely to get into an accident by informing the person behind them that there is a child passenger in the car? Are people going to take more care on the road because they don’t want to get into a crash that might hurt someone else’s child (as opposed to a crash that might only endanger their own life)? I don’t think so. If anything, drivers will be more likely to rear-end you because they were distracted trying to read the little yellow square you’ve got dangling in your back window and not noticing when you brake. Slam. Game over.

Anyway, the point is that unless I’m a driver, you can all disregard everything I have to say about experiences in the car because I am not part of your exclusive club. Whatever. Enjoy your global warming, faggots.