WillWybrow.com

Suddenly I feel so reassured about court proceedings. When you look at the average coherence of the comments by his friends, you get gems like the seemingly out-of-nowhere “sad” call (which, by the way, I love as an insult because it doesn’t make any sense) because of my hilarious post on shoelaces.

You also get comments so delightfully riddled with poor grammar, spelling, ideas and arguments that all you can do is hope these kids get called as witnesses — all they’ll do is strengthen my case.

But seriously… fair enough telling me I am wrong when I say Lee Evans is a worthless hack, but coming here and calling me a liar? I should be making a much bigger deal of her crappy spelling.

I’ll let it go this once.

I am quite looking forward to receiving my charge sheet tomorrow. With it will come a magistrates’ court date, and that means I’ll have loads of information about what to expect in the coming weeks. I think we can all agree that being more informed is a good thing.

But what I am most looking forward to is when I get into real court. I’m going to put it in my Facebook status updates and loads of people I haven’t spoken to in ages will poke their noses in and ask what’s going on. And I’ll be really sour to them because they’re only making out as though they care because going to court is an exceptional thing. So, fuck them. I’m just going to practise snide, cutting remarks that’ll irk them by not explaining, and maybe they’ll feel a pang of guilt for not caring before or stupidity because I’ll make out that they ought to already know.

When I am on the inside, some months from now, I am going to get a ghost writer for the site so I can update everyone about what’s going on. I have a couple of people in mind; they know who they are. Presumably you are allowed to write stuff in prison, so I’ll have something to tell you guys.

This update is really disjoint, so sorry. I’m off out now — see you guys later.

W.

I have started to be a little more honest and open since Post 334. I admitted to being frightened on my blog, and I confessed to being upset on my walk home when the police caught me. Mainly the tears were frustration for my lost glasses. The point is, I have failed to be honest where it counts.

In my selfish attempts to reassure the more sensitive of you, I sugar-coated the whole ordeal slightly. So, I am making the following amendments:

• I am definitely going to prison
• I stabbed the “victim,” Elliot Bedworth, seven times
• The wounds were: one in the upper left arm, one slash across the left shoulder, a cluster of three puncture wounds on the far left of the back, two in the shin
• He knocked me over backwards and landed on top of me – I was using the knife with my right hand and hitting around his massive body
• The shin wounds probably happened as I was lashing out at him after he got up off me
• My memory is pretty hazy regarding the whole thing, and there are some things I don’t remember
• There were no witnesses or CCTV cameras
• For all of these reasons, and some more, legal matters at this point are not about getting me “off the hook” — they are about damage reduction

Because there are (or were) some bits that I couldn’t recall exactly, I only let myself tell the police “I don’t remember” — I won’t tell them anything that I’m not sure about. My only weapon here is the truth, and if I give that up then what’s the point in defending myself?

On Friday I will get my charge sheet. My solicitor basically said that it’s going to be GBH with intent. He also said that my chances of getting that reduced are small. Well, he didn’t say that, but it could be reasonably inferred.

Also, my time-frame estimate was really far off. Things would happen much sooner than I predicted. This could all be over and done with in a third of the time I thought I had left.

It’s coming, guys. Get ready.