WillWybrow.com

Decent animation is one of those things we take for granted these days, so when a film comes along and expects to survive looking like one of those awful ancient TV shows from a time before computers, it’s kind of like a visual kick in the nuts.

If you ever watched the animated Lord of the Rings movie, you’d be as well to start from that sort of quality when you’re picturing this. From there, however, you need to consider what it would be like if it were even worse. It was nearly offset, as well, by some pretty 3D CGI dragons. But I have a strong suspicion that funds were diverted from animation and into casting. Kiefer Sutherland had no place in this film; he should go back to doing big budget Hollywood flicks like Phonebooth and, uh, oh yeah - 24, 24: the Game, 24: the DVD Boardgame and the announced 24 movie.

But I can hope, can’t I? The Lord of the Rings animated flick in 1978 was eventually made into a live-action film in 2001; I’ll only have to wait 23 years! Mind you, by then, Christian Bale will be too old to pull off a convincing Raistlin Majere. Although, with his white hair and thin look, maybe that’s a good thing?

The film, Dragons of Autumn Twilight, to give it its full title, is an adaptation of the first book of the Dragonlance Chronicles trilogy. Story-wise, it’s pretty faithful to the book, right down to some of the dialogue. There are a few things that have been changed; firstly, the Green Gemstone Man is gone. There is no hint of the three-way triangle of distrust between the elf Gilthanas, the man Eben (who was missing completely) and the mage Raistlin, nor was there the revelation of the eventual betrayer. That could have made some delicious cinematic tension and mystery. We also didn’t see anything of the Chain Room or the tumbling blocks across the gates of Pax Tharkas. Fizban was also done pretty badly; he wasn’t bumbling enough and his secret was revealed at the end (when it should have been revealed in two sequels’ time).

This should have been a live acton thing, and it should have been done well. I can’t believe that Lord of the Rings got so much money poured into it, and this was done on the cheap. I much prefer this story; the characters are much deeper, the world and environment is cooler and there’s way more magic. I will write the screenplay if they want. And do the casting. I will get someone who isn’t Peter Jackson to direct. Does anyone want to make a big old bunch of cash? All I need is a few million pounds to invest in making this film.

Ok, right, back to reviewing the film. Uh, it’s not great. In fact, I wouldn’t bother with it at all. As a standalone film, it’s not worth trying to get into, because it will be more effort than a film should be. For those of you who have read the book and don’t mind being enraged at the patheticness of this attempt to turn it into a film, check it out. But don’t get your hopes up.

At least the filmmakers had the shame and decency to keep it out of cinemas.

Holy crap, they made one. Animated. Jack Bauer is Raistlin Majere.

That’s all I can comment on just now. Review to follow when I’ve watched the bastard. I’ve heard bad things.

But come on, the screenplay was written by the writer of Xena: Warrior Princess! And it has Raistlin!

And I just checked, Lucy Lawless plays Goldmoon. Woah, that’s definitely wrong, though I love Lucy Lawless.

Anyways, yeah, more later. Much love.

What the fuck is this?